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no room for hipsters

the occupation of Ashley and Levon

(from addair)

Update from Western Kentucky.

Feeling incredibly overwhelmed and the anxiety seems to be seeping out of my right eye.  I woke up on Christmas morning with a bulging swollen eyelid.  Merry infectious Christmas.

I try not to treat symptoms.  I’d rather let them lead me to the source of trouble.

Thank you, ugly monster eye, for alerting me to myself and my need for quiet aloneness.

December has been a good month.  I’m thankful for it.  We’ve got to visit with friends and family.  It’s been festive and chirpy.

one of the wonderful things about this december

And noisy.

In the entire month of December, I haven’t been alone for more than an hour.  Which means I haven’t painted, written, or danced like I need to.  The glands on my eyelid hate this.

I’ve shared the course of my day and all its decisions with another person for 27 days and mostly its been enjoyable.  But now I need to recharge.

Currently, we’re visiting with Levon’s parents and in a few weeks we’ll be driving to Mexico, so I won’t get the studio space and uninterrupted days I desire in the foreseeable future.

But tomorrow, I’m taking a few steps closer.  I’m disconnecting from the internet and phone till 2010.  That will help.  I’ll also be starting day two of waking up at 5am.  The extended mornings will help too.

Some advice from James Frey, author of A Million Little Pieces is also helping.  “If you embrace, you will endure”  this is something that rings true to James and this is something that rings true to me.

I’m working to embrace.  Embrace that I am not and will never be in total control. Embrace that I need balance.  Embrace that I need to be alone as much as I need to be connected.    Embrace that I cannot have all that I want, but I do have all that I need.

i'm also trying really hard to embrace winter. (infectious eye not featured here)

Tomorrow will be enough. I will do what I can with what I am given.  I will accomplish enough.  I will experience enough.    I will give painting, and writing, and dancing a priority.  And eventually, the monster eye will be appeased.

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