Skip to content

no room for hipsters

the occupation of Ashley and Levon

mar-7-09-175

 

I said I was done with cubledom on Friday and I was serious.  But someone had to return the state’s minivan after this weekend’s excursion, plus they want my keys to the building back.  I figured, what the heck I’ve got a blog to write and the coffee is hot, so why not make a morning of it for old time’s sake?  I have to go across the street anyway to UT Medical Center in a little while for my hand doctor appointment and he is my new boss now that this broken hand just became my livelihood. 

So, my last day again in cubledom.  I’m thinking I need to get transparent with you for a second.  Noroomforhipsters is here to tell Ashley’s and my story, which day to day is not always that exciting.  In a sentence, we are a desk job and masters program dropout duo of artists that want to go to New York to either get off the ground or have the experience, regardless.  Six weeks ago I started telling this story, but still we haven’t left Knoxville.  I have managed to tell how I lost my renters twice, broke my hand, took a hit selling my car, and quit my job to “leave” but now I’m sitting here.

We are doing our best, but today is only today.  Let me tell you how it feels.  Its sort of a big day for me.

Today the job goes, and with the job go a lot of identities I have been.  The man in the suit, the man with the programs, the husband who must support the wife in school, the stifled artist who must exist in spare moments, and the insecure person who’s days require he spend the time in natural weaknesses.  I have learned this: if you do something everyday that doesn’t fit, you you may get decent enough at it to get by.  But you will always know that you would be better at something else and you will feel insecure.  That insecurity will threaten everything interesting about you.  Your good intentions will leave you bitter at the lesser version of yourself. 

Let me say it like this.   If you spend most of your time in your weaknesses you will feel weak most of the time.  Someone may argue that you get stronger.  Yes, obviously.  But what if you spent your time making your strengths stronger instead of spreading yourself out?  I’m rambling now but I’ve learned this painfully over the last 5 years or so. 

If you love what you do, do it.  If you don’t, stop.  If you are making excuses, challenge them.  Chances are the people you’re worried about disappointing either know you don’t fit or would want what’s best for you.  Responsibilities may mean you can’t quit tomorrow but make an escape plan and don’t settle. 

Neither Ashley or I have any other choice now than to go for broke.  I heard it said that an artist is safest when taking chances.  I’ve been playing by the rules, even teaching some of the rules.  Today I’m going to take a chance instead.

 mar-7-09-085

Advertisements

Tags: , , ,

%d bloggers like this: