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no room for hipsters

the occupation of Ashley and Levon

Here’s some random facts about left handedness.  Brought to you by someone who desperately misses theirs.

1.  A left hander developed the keyboard you are typing on now and made it suit them.  You have a 90% chance of being disadvantaged.  Just look at home row and count the Scrabble points for your fingers.  But, there’s likely a %100 chance you reach for your mouse on the right.  Fair fight.

2.  Left handed people don’t like left handed desks any more than righties.  We get used to the posture, I guess. 

3.  Left handed people don’t know their left from their right very well.  They have to stop and ask everytime, “do I need to reverse those instructions to make them suit me?”  If you are telling them to make a turn while driving either give them enough time to walk out this process or simply point. 

4.  Both left and righted people have a hard time buttoning their pants one handed.

5.  My baseball coach always said lefties have a nastier curve ball because the ball leaves their hand spinning the opposite direction as the earth.  Right handed curve balls are essentially conforming to the world but lefties are forced to be unconventional.  When he wasn’t saying something brilliant he was spitting or scratching himself so I dunno.

6.  Most lefties will admit to attempting or at least thinking about writing from the right to left side of the page to keep from dragging their hand across wet ink or pencil smudge all the time.   Leonardo da Vinci was a left handed “mirror writer.”

7.  I sincerely believe all the stuff about right brained increased functioning in creativity and abstraction.  I don’t think you have to left handed to be a right brained person, but if you are left handed you probably had to at least think creatively to learn to do everything backwards.

8.  U.S. Presidents are more likely to be left handed (Obama is).  3 out of 4 Ninja Turtle namesakes and 3 out of 4 of the Beatles were as well.  So were Napoleon, Charlemagne, Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Ben Franklin, Einstein, Isaac Newton, Picasso, Fidel Castro, Henry Ford, Kurt Cobain, Jimmi Hendrix, Helen Keller, and Rockefeller, plus Letterman, Leno and Bart Simpson. 

9.  Left handed people migrate towards intelligence extremes.  The mentally handicapped and higher IQ levels have a much higher percentage of lefties than the regular population.

10.  Lefties have a worse memory,  are more prone to autism and developmental disabilities like dyslexia, and are three times more likely to become alcholics.

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