Category Archives: letter to a friend
May 28, 2011 letter to a friend: a painting for a wedding
[ from a. addair who is listening to Sondre Lerche (Faces Down) ]
Things I was thinking about as I made this painting:
celebration flag banners
“this is the beginning of a parade”
surrendering to the story
miracles and magic
flowers
whimsy
unpredictability
simple delights and surprises
fun!
interlaced plum trees
roots
foundation
hope and community
life and color
Many of the words on this list came from the wedding inspiration list which I thought was beautiful and delightfully imaginative. It was so fun get creative with you. Thank you for the opportunity.
I loved your vision for the ceremony, it allowed me to engage in thinking about marriage in some fresh ways. Through the painting, I wanted to honor the unique particulars of your union and offer a perspective from our own married adventure as a hopefully useful and encouraging gift. I think Alain de Botton communicates this best when he says, “We should not feel embarrassed by our difficulties, only by our failures to grow anything beautiful from them”. Levon and I are incredibly grateful for our happy marriage, but whenever I attend a wedding I can’t help but to remember the troublesome parts that arrived so quickly after the vows and shape so much of who we are.
The imagery is mostly taken from the setting of your ceremony: the backyard garden, Park Ridge, flags and lights draped from tents and trees and you both promising your love under interlaced plum branches decorated with fabric and family photographs.
These are the impressions I want to communicate through the painting, but I’ve kept the imagery loose and abstract because a mere depiction of the setting couldn’t capture the mysterious joy-sadness, family melding, and vastness in the atmosphere of sacred vows.
Circles are the basis for many of the elements in the painting. The symbolism inherent in circles communicates the wholeness and cyclical nature of what a marriage can mean. Many of the circular elements were made by painting on a plastic sheet. Once dry, the paint circles were peeled off and either cut in half to form the flags on the banners or folded and clustered together to form flowers. I think this process is appropriate for the ways that we function as elements made in one context and given meaning in another. We are both parts and completed wholes as we live out our vows to not only our spouses but to our families and communities.
I find the symbolism in wedding traditions powerful because of the threads (think flag banners even) they weave over time and through generations and so I used some of those practices in the making of the painting. For instance, I painted the white, tree cluster-cloud element as if it were icing on a wedding cake. And I pinned the flowers onto the ground as a boutonniere to a jacket lapel.
“A real work, like a real love, takes not only passion but a certain daily, obsessive, tenacious, illogical form of insanity to keep it alive” -David Whyte
This is my wish to you, Amelia and Josh. Your wedding day was beautiful and I’m so grateful to have been a part of it and now may you insanely follow the love you declared under that 5.21 sunshine.
Blessings and thank you,
ashley
Tags: 5.21, alain de botton, amelia and josh, celebration flag banners, color, david whyte, faces down, family, flowers, marriage, painting, park ridge, sondre lerche, the johnsons, the three marriages, wedding
November 24, 2010 letter to a friend: a response to a question about relying on your art for income
[ from a. addair who is listening to Arcade Fire (Funeral) ]
on living as a working artist…
and though i don’t want to make it seem too simplistic or easy, it has been one of the best decisions of my entire life. i love it, it’s a challenge, but i love it and wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
it takes a bit of a paradigm shift from what our culture tells us about work, success, and provision. i think there are several types of creative business models, but i’ll tell you about the one that i’m going by. (which is much less business minded than most…my way is not the way to make lots of money, but in my opinion its the way to make good art and a good life).
advise: whew. ummmmmmm,
well, be courageous. we only have a limited amount of lifeblood so be sure that you’re spending it in a way that aligns with your values. working for yourself, you have freedom to do some really exciting things, but also room for big waste. so think through what you believe to be important and then make up a specific plan/schedule to get you there. this includes how to make money, why you want to practice photography, how you want to spend your time, what feeds you life, what drains you of life, marketing, goals, why those goals are important…etc. (set up times to adjust and re-evaluate this plan because you’ll be learning lots and it will change, but even as things continually shift you must maintain intentionality… i re-evaluate once a month and do a big check-up yearly).
people who buy art are helpful too. recently sold.
i don’t know your relationship to your art, but for me it is sometimes difficult to manage the business side of painting, because i don’t believe it to be primarily a commodity. think through this and make sure your art won’t be compromised by relying on it for income.
lower your cost of living. this gives you freedom to take risks and lowers the stressfulness of slow months.
okay, so that is pretty general and abstract but foundational. so do a lot of thinking before you make the jump.
as you start making really practical decisions i can share my experiences of those too. its just a lot and i dont want to over supply a response, but i’m happy to answer questions as they come.
lastly, i think its exciting. and though i don’t know the details of your life and work, i’m happy to hear that your thinking of doing this. it can be such a step toward freedom and fulfillment.
be brave and wise,
a. addair
Tags: advice, arcade fire, brave, counter, creativity, culture, funeral, income, letter to friend, living as an artist, managing the gift, paradigm shift, risk
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- Posted under Ashley, audacity, Economy, how to, letter to a friend, painting, simple living, sustainability, things i'm reading/learning, Uncertainty, Work
November 23, 2010 a letter to a friend : on marriage
[ from a. addair who is listening to Fatboy Slim (You've Come A Long Way, Baby) ]
as for knowing if you love someone and then if you should marry him…
the longer i’ve been married, my view of this question has become less romantic. i think the question is more about deciding if you want to commit to a life-long relationship. this is a difficult and laborious commitment but one that, i think, has deeply sweet fruits. i haven’t been married for very long (in the wide scope of things) so i am far from a full understanding of my vow. so far i can say that it has been more difficult than it has been fun. but i do feel that i have a priceless friend that (given my character traits), i would not have outside of marriage. i think that this is of value and will continue to become more valuable the longer we commit to it.
deciding if this sort of arrangement aligns with your values and priorities is the first question (i think its okay if it doesn’t).
after this, the specific person you chose becomes less important. i say that because, whoever you marry will grow and change and not be the person you originally picked. and also because, no matter who you pick, you will learn their flaws and forget their beauty and be sometimes annoyed and sometimes you will loathe them (well, i do at least).
not to say that you shouldn’t be diligent and thoughtful in the choosing of a partner. but i guess, the most important thing to consider is if the person has the same commitment and expectations and values for marriage. and after that it just gets down to preferences. think about the things that are most important to you and make sure that those things are supported and valued by your partner and vice versa. i guess i’m saying that feelings of love don’t answer this question. feelings about/for a person are indicators of something going on inside of you and it is good to try and understand what they are pointing to. but they don’t know how to make decisions (especially life-long vows).
one of my favorite things about being married to Levon: his Pappaw
on being attracted to other men…
sadly, i don’t think this will go away (i don’t think it is an indication of how well or bad your relationship is going). because i’m married, i’ve decided that i won’t pursue them and that the richness of my life will be greater for it, because my investment is with levon. i think it is possible that i could have a good life with any number of people, but i’ve chosen this one and this one (and our life) will be better if i keep my promise to him.
this is my perspective because i am married. i would probably have a different one if i weren’t.
i hope this letter is helpful and not frustrating. please feel free to think aloud as much as you need. and to ask any questions you are wondering about (not that i will have an answer, but i will at least share my experiences). and know that you aren’t crazy (if you are that makes two of us, because i’ve been there and freak out about being married often).
sending peace and love your way,
ashley
Tags: attraction, expectations, faithfulness, family gathering, fatboy slim, letter to a friend, loathing, love, marriage, pappaw, peace and love, romance, the walkers, vows, western ky, you've come a long way baby
- 6 comments
- Posted under Ashley, home, how to, letter to a friend, marriage, Uncertainty
